The unevolved man

neanderthals

Disclaimer:  I’m no expert, so all of what I write is only based on what goes on in my busy head from time to time.

This post is regarding my current experience with the rather ridiculous game which the unevolved man plays with women.  I read alot of posts and blogs on relationships, particularly failed ones, particularly when I’d been emotionally burnt.  The theme is usually the same.  Don’t chase, don’t act desperate, do not give up your life and sacrifice your all, do not ask about commitment … blah di blah, di blah di blah.   I always think, “who can you be but who you are?”

I don’t know if I fall into any kind of category of womanly behavior, I probably do,  I just wouldn’t be able to say which one.   Its hard to ‘watch’ onesself and be completely objective.  What I do know, is that I’m rather interesting, quite easy going,  have no problem doing things on my own and being alone.  I have a good sense of humour, and I don’t look too bad either.  But the outcome for me when it comes to romantic interaction basically  seems like one which is experienced by the ‘desperate’ woman.

Basically, I think it comes down to partly my own fault because I do tend to be courteous and I usually am overly accommodating in general.  I think its part of my upbringing to do my best to make people feel welcome and comfortable even if it costs a bit of sacrifice from my side.

I’ve tried following the popular relationship advice.  Basically the advice is to be a  feisty bitch, and go out and have a good life irrespective of what anybody else wants from you.  Its possible, but often hard to do when one’s head is not fully in that space.  To be honest, up to now this has worked for me in attracting that neanderthal-like male who plays that ridiculous game of chase if she’s being a nasty bitch and run when she’s being nice.   In my opinion, this is kind of alright when it comes to a booty call, but I sure as hell don’t want to be playing this game in a long term relationship.  So many women get caught up in this kind of thing for years with the same old monkey.

Its good to feel grounded, and have a couple of good booty calls who are chasing so fiercely, because I really don’t feel to go out of my way to accommodate them (mostly because I now only do what I prefer).  One day though, I’d like to experience the interaction with a more evolved man.    Maybe I’m too much of a monkey still to know and evolved man when I see one.

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Men and body weight

I think these two things are kind of related to each other when it comes to women. It seems to be the two issues that are constant in our lives, from beginning to end. We are consumed with it our whole life. Not to say we are superficial, because we really aren’t. When we disappoint ourselves in both of these departments, we waste a lot of time, sometimes months, even years, feeling low on hope and confidence. Are we cursed by our genetic makeup? Or is it a learnt thing? How can we overcome this? There really is so much more we could spend our precious time, energy and mind power on.

What a mess

whatamess

Have you ever lived with a messy person?  Good lord.  They just take their shoes off and leave it anywhere.  In a total state of unawareness.  You’d think that once the sink is clear of dishes, and they use a plate, they’d be considerate and wash the bloody plate and put it back.  If the floor was dirty, they’d take a broom and sweep, and a mop and mop.  I mean it doesn’t take much time and effort man!  They don’t know about hanging their clothes up once they’ve taken it off the hanger.  Its a nightmare.  And no matter how you try to convince them that its not that hard to be neat, they just don’t get it!

shoes[5]

Goodness, you should try living with me.  Sometimes I just don’t know anymore how to get myself out of my own mess.  I tell myself, I’m going go through every inch of the house, box anything and everything up that I hadn’t touched in about 3 months and just give it away!  See that’s part of the problem.  Apart from being totally averse to doing housework, if you have too much stuff, like clothes, shoes, books, dishes, tools, scarves, bloody hell, too much of everything, you just have no inspiration to put anything back.  Because putting it back is a constant struggle to find space.   Then I start in a corner of one room, and get so sentimental about stupid shit.  I mean really stupid, like for instance a broken plastic bracelet that I might have picked up somewhere when I was still in the second decade of my life.  Its stupid.  I know.  I think their is some kind of psychological classification for what I’ve got.

Anyway, all that comes from an attempt to scale down and clean up is that all the junk just gets put on a different place.  Sigh.