How long can a woman take to learn her lesson.

  • Some women refuse to learn from their mistakes.  This friend of mine’s been dating younger black guys for many years.  She is approximately 60 appears to be comfortably able to support herself, travel on a whim, and not have to work to do it.  So easy target for a guy looking for a financial shoulder to lean on.   And they clearly only see her as a sugarmommy.  In my conversation with her below, you will see her delusion.  The latest one is living with his ex (I’m sure the ex is not aware that she is the ex, and I’m not convinced that she’s become the ex), never contacts her, and she doesn’t feel like she’s allowed to expect anything from him.  The alleged ex btw is also an older woman from Germany.  Yet she believes he loves her so much more than she loves him and that its deep deep love.  I find it hard to believe that she believes herself.   I also find it somewhat tragic that she thinks the alternative to being faithful to a half-hearted, unavailable boyfriend is ‘playing around’ instead of letting her life be about her life and not about sex with other men, who would be strangers to her.  Her so called boyfriend’s name is Jonas, and Kevin is a friend of Jonas whom I’ve been on one or two dates with.
    The problem with women is we base our feelings on our feelings, not on facts. And then we lie to ourselves and to our friends who will support our delusions due to a combination of not wanting to hurt our feelings and also the knowledge that opposing our delusions will do no good in any case.  I also think that many women have such low self esteem when it comes to men, that when a man so much as touches her with the tip of his middle finger, she reckons something like:”Oh my God, he touched me, and I wouldn’t even touch me because I’m so ugly/boring/uninteresting/loser-ish -etc- So he must really really really love me very very much”.
    me

    I am disappointed in Kevin. I started thinking maybe its my warped man radar, but its not

    i thinks he only has time, or is willing to make time for me at night

    which sounds like a booty call

    i’m glad I havent’ gone and bumped uglies with him yet

    so at least i’m thinking straight

  • friend

    ok but be aware he might have kids which is daytime thing

    and if it is going to be then it will be without drama
    Me
    yes, but if so, I’m not willing to be the woman to relieve his sexual tension
    and get nothing else from him
  • friend
    ok fair enough

    agree

    but has he even made a sexual move on you yet

    as he sounded respectful

    Me

    I’ve always been the one who is making excuses and seeing the potential in the man

    friend

  • i hear you there sista

    us woman do that
  • me
    he is respectful. we only kissed, he slept over in the spare room
  • but even respectful men do booty calls
  • friend
    was it nice to be with him
  • me
    i dont’ know him well enough to say if its nice or not
  • friend

    by the way i know absolutely nothing about him. jonas never said anything about him. i am jsut checking if you are running

  • me
    i don’t know him well enough, so not completely comfortable to do say whatever is on my mind

    I’m not running

  • friend
    ok
  • me
    I gave him a fair chance. Now I’m going to enjoy my holiday, I’m not going to contact him again.

    if he wants to make an effort of any kind its up to him, and if it continues to be a half hearted effort, then I’m going to cut it out

  • friend
    yeah go and enjoy yourself sure you going to dance

    and then we can all go to moz. oh i would love that

  • me
    he drinks alot too. i think some occasions he actually chose to go drink beer than to spend some time with me
  • friend
    yeah i must say with foreign men it is diff. the amount of no expectation i live with ,

    but do get on wit my lfie fully

  • me
    eish, the expecting nothing part is not good

    I’m not doing it again.

  • friend
    yeah – hard like waiting for crumbs , not good at all. so all i can do is live my life fully. he is totally supprotive but i imagine pissed off wiht me never there at all. in july we see what happens as i do know he is really specail

    and i know he loves me deeply , but when not in the same country eeek

  • me
    thats hard
  • friend
    and i don’t believe he plays around but i could be wrong after all i nearly played around myself.

    yeah hard but the love is deep

  • me
    lol, we all human in the end
  • friend
    i feel his comfort

    and he is still staying with his ex so that is also complicated

  • me
    Be careful girl, men and women are on very different wavelengths
  • friend
    but when i come back i want it ALL
  • me
    women feel a lot

    men don’t

  • friend
    hah

    i think he loves me more than i do but who knows

  • me
    if only it were possible to base one’s feelings on hard facts

    on what we see and experience

  • friend
    haha you wise woman

    maybe time for me to play – eh?

  • me
    who knows

    I think you should be honest and true to yourself and the really important things going on in your life

    give it all your heart

    and soul

  • friend
    i certainly can now

Relationship disaster

Written for The Daily Post’s Third Rate Romance

 

There are too many but three deserve special remembrance:  There was the proposal I got from a bad boy ex-boyfriend on Valentine’s day after his girlfriend kicked him out on the street.  There was the follow up call from a first date two months later asking for advice on how to entertain his wife on a Saturday night.  When I was 25 years old, there was the 56 year old who lied about being 53 years old who turned out to be married.

Why I don’t to biker functions anymore

Because after a while, you start looking like shit.  And you start to date people who look like shit.  And not because you or he have been blessed with bad looks, but because y’all stopped giving a shit about taking care of yourself… because real bikers don’t give a shit about such petty things right … For some reason.  Yik teeth too.   Not even sunscreen or anything anymore, that would eat into your beer money.   And then you proudly announce to your mom on facebook that you can’t wait for her to meet this guy.  Who seems to have no clue about personal pride or appearance.  And I bet his underarms are smelling quite bad at this point.  Not to mention his underpants.