A breakup is a painful long slow process for me, I go through these phases:
No contact, but stalking and reviewing – very torturous, wondering and waiting waiting for him to make contact. And cry cry cry cry.
If I’m good and strong, I don’t respond to any attempts at contact. If I’m not that strong, I respond, end up trying to be happy together again, but inevitably breaking up again and going back to stalking and reviewing phase.
The morbid fascination with stalking and reviewing has worn off, and I would be mostly ok, except that any delusional attempt to test whether I’m over it by responding to contact, initiating contact, and/or getting together WILL lead back to trying to be happy together again, and then break up and then stalking and reviewing.
I couldn’t give a fuck anymore phase. Over it and over men, happily single and don’t want to see a man again ever in my life.
I could put myself out there and let another man in … which up to now has always led back to another breakup… sigh what a painful way to waste time.