I get so fed up sometimes. I often wish I was just an orphan, alone in this world. A hermit somewhere in a mountain, with just the bare necessities, a bit of comfort and nature. Most of the time I look at other people in their conventional animalistic framework of human life. Partnering, getting married, having babies etc. I know that it is their choice to do those ordinary things, and I respect that. What gets to me is the extent to which people like myself, have to waste so much of our lives accommodating the commemoration of occasions in their lives. We have to be the audience. Audience to … sorry to say … such mundane things. From before the history of mankind, creatures have been shagging shacking up and having offspring. Its nothing special. Special to me is evolution of the mind’s focus towards things that are really amazing. Inevitably having to waste time on listening to mundane life talk about curtains, baby development, finances, struggles of marriage and the hard work involved is just painful. Blah blah. Sorry if you feel insulted, but that is just boring. Its nice I suppose if your life is also similar so there’ll be an appreciation for the weddings, birthdays, baby showers, and other ordinary celebrations. For me however, there gets to a point where I feel its taking over my life, and just an obligation and a duty to be a spectator to these things in other poeple’s life. For the last three months I’ve been wanting to go out scuba diving with my club on a Sunday. But all the frickin weddings and funerals, and baby showers, and birthdays have taken over my free time. I’ve had enough. Enough. I need to find a jungle now. I’ve had enough.
Is there really a way to die happy. If I had the motivation, I’d Google a few stories of people who had come very close to death and survived it, still remembering there last moments of consciousness. Maybe later. They would be able to tell us about their level of happiness when faced with death.
From my naiive perspective, I think the person who’s been in long term suffering, emotionally and/or physically, would be thoroughly relieved when staring death in the face. I imagine death would be a welcome relief in this case.
What seems odd though is when people say they would be happy to die doing one of their high risk activities. For instance, crashing a motorcycle/car, bungee jumping, face climbing, skydiving, I am just here to say that this is not a happy face: