The Seven Dwarves of Smallness


Some coaches and therapists believe that their clients don’t really understand the dynamics at work in their lives. They think their job is to illuminate the dynamics so their clients can shift them. I encounter people all the time who are very aware of their interpersonal dynamics, but they can’t or don’t want to shift them. Even when those dynamics cause pain and suffering, they’d rather dance with the devil they know. I often say, “Inertia is a very powerful force.”

But at some point, it becomes more painful to stay stuck that it would be to grow. Anais Nin put it beautifully when she wrote, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” That time is different for everyone. Some people have higher tolerance for the unknown, and they’re more willing to risk the…

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