The last year or so, something about successful relationships is becoming very clear to me. A successful heterosexual relationship in general appears to consist of a man and a very supportive woman. And by supportive I mean a woman who sacrifices herself, her own goals, and interests to focus on her man and what he wants. And a good man will thrive in this situation. He needs her to be weak in someways to make him feel strong and useful. A woman in a relationship consequently loses herself. Which I think, contrary to the popular, masculine patronizing, belief system is what leads to successful women being luckless in love because a stereotypical successful woman would not sacrifice herself. I don’t believe that its the sarcasm, and rudeness that deters men. I think that her independence makes her seem less supportive. And yes, expecting a man to be man enough and secure in himself to not need her to make him her whole world is less supportive, but in a healthy way. The problem, in my opinion is that a handful of strong woman have evolved up to now, and I’m sure also a handful of men, secure enough to suit these women, but the numbers are such that its rare to cross paths with each other. This article kind of hits the nail on the head when it comes to how supportive women boosts her partner:
Women who act useless, well, my tolerance for them is becoming less and less. It is because of them that in this advanced modern age, life is still shit for women.
Yesterday, in boxing class, some chic pitched up, quite late, nothing fashionable about being late by the way. Its just plain disrespectful. Hair loose, and lips painted red. We were bouncing around at the time, those of us where on time, doing our best interpretation of Mohammad Ali’s ‘float like a butterfly’. And she joined in doing something like this:
Can’t deal …
As if that’s not enough, the coach and the other guys were beside themselves for this chic who is too lazy to make an effort to be amazing. She prefers to be weak, useless and pretty. She hadn’t been to class for 2 weeks, and the coach says we should take her as an example, she hasn’t been to class, and is pushing herself. Poor attendance, and definitely not pushing herself, and there’s nothing to be admired about that. The coach’s reaction is what’s worse for me. Reinforces what I think about men. That’s what so disappointing. I don’t have a crush on the coach, no, but it pisses me off because majority of huMANity are like him. And women like me, have to sift through the lot of them, to find the rare gem who has graduated past the drama this guy describes here:
Anyway, I have news for that guy who wrote that load of crap. You’re an idiot man. You were attracted by the drama, and now you want it gone, i.e, you want the woman to change. Go jump off a bridge, fuck off. And as for keeping the long hair just because you like it. Fuck you. How about you keep the 6 pack you had when she met you, or develop a nice long penis, because she would prefer that to the little one you have.
So yes, we have to find the rare gems, who have graduated past all that chic(ken) shit, and are ready for a woman, strong in her own right, like mother nature intended. No we are not perfect. If you find us sarcastic, don’t judge us for that. We have to witness this irritating male and female dynamics daily – man to the rescue of damsel in distress – and that’s enough to cause sarcasm in mother Theresa. As for us not needing you being a turnoff: Why is there anything wrong with just being emotionally supportive from either side, man or woman. Why is needing a man even an attractor. As time goes on, a woman will need her man for more than just that, thats just the physiology of the relationship, and the man will need his woman more too. But to judge off the bat that the woman doesn’t need anyone without even trying a relationship, that’s plain and simply immature. You can go fuck off and go learn more life lessons before you try a real woman again.
I hate that feminine is synonymous with being physically weak, emotionally volatile, technically incompetent. Feminine is synonymous with masking natural beauty under heavy make up, and smelling fake. Pisses me off.
I’m sure he is wondering what I’m doing. Why I’m not calling/texting. I’m sure he is worried that I’ve given up on him. Thats why he texted me last night. A lame text, I know. And I know its lame. Which is great. It did not feel like anything wonderful. If I let it all go now I would be completely over it. Come on Kelly give me that magic.
To listen to this:
over and over and over and over …
A breakup is a painful long slow process for me, I go through these phases:
No contact, but stalking and reviewing – very torturous, wondering and waiting waiting for him to make contact. And cry cry cry cry.
If I’m good and strong, I don’t respond to any attempts at contact. If I’m not that strong, I respond, end up trying to be happy together again, but inevitably breaking up again and going back to stalking and reviewing phase.
The morbid fascination with stalking and reviewing has worn off, and I would be mostly ok, except that any delusional attempt to test whether I’m over it by responding to contact, initiating contact, and/or getting together WILL lead back to trying to be happy together again, and then break up and then stalking and reviewing.
I couldn’t give a fuck anymore phase. Over it and over men, happily single and don’t want to see a man again ever in my life.
I could put myself out there and let another man in … which up to now has always led back to another breakup… sigh what a painful way to waste time.