I’m sorry

But today I’m just fucking annoyed at a German lady who comes all the way in from her tourism job in Scotland to meet up with her long distance Zimbabwean boyfriend in South Africa to spend the whole 10 days cooking amazing meals for him, then clean up after him, while he either tries to charm whatever other women are around, or be busy doing something or other on his fone.  I’m just fucking annoyed.  I know what I’ll never accept, no dick is good enough to put up with that baloney.  Fucking women hey.


How long can a woman take to learn her lesson.

  • Some women refuse to learn from their mistakes.  This friend of mine’s been dating younger black guys for many years.  She is approximately 60 appears to be comfortably able to support herself, travel on a whim, and not have to work to do it.  So easy target for a guy looking for a financial shoulder to lean on.   And they clearly only see her as a sugarmommy.  In my conversation with her below, you will see her delusion.  The latest one is living with his ex (I’m sure the ex is not aware that she is the ex, and I’m not convinced that she’s become the ex), never contacts her, and she doesn’t feel like she’s allowed to expect anything from him.  The alleged ex btw is also an older woman from Germany.  Yet she believes he loves her so much more than she loves him and that its deep deep love.  I find it hard to believe that she believes herself.   I also find it somewhat tragic that she thinks the alternative to being faithful to a half-hearted, unavailable boyfriend is ‘playing around’ instead of letting her life be about her life and not about sex with other men, who would be strangers to her.  Her so called boyfriend’s name is Jonas, and Kevin is a friend of Jonas whom I’ve been on one or two dates with.
    The problem with women is we base our feelings on our feelings, not on facts. And then we lie to ourselves and to our friends who will support our delusions due to a combination of not wanting to hurt our feelings and also the knowledge that opposing our delusions will do no good in any case.  I also think that many women have such low self esteem when it comes to men, that when a man so much as touches her with the tip of his middle finger, she reckons something like:”Oh my God, he touched me, and I wouldn’t even touch me because I’m so ugly/boring/uninteresting/loser-ish -etc- So he must really really really love me very very much”.

    I am disappointed in Kevin. I started thinking maybe its my warped man radar, but its not

    i thinks he only has time, or is willing to make time for me at night

    which sounds like a booty call

    i’m glad I havent’ gone and bumped uglies with him yet

    so at least i’m thinking straight

  • friend

    ok but be aware he might have kids which is daytime thing

    and if it is going to be then it will be without drama
    yes, but if so, I’m not willing to be the woman to relieve his sexual tension
    and get nothing else from him
  • friend
    ok fair enough


    but has he even made a sexual move on you yet

    as he sounded respectful


    I’ve always been the one who is making excuses and seeing the potential in the man


  • i hear you there sista

    us woman do that
  • me
    he is respectful. we only kissed, he slept over in the spare room
  • but even respectful men do booty calls
  • friend
    was it nice to be with him
  • me
    i dont’ know him well enough to say if its nice or not
  • friend

    by the way i know absolutely nothing about him. jonas never said anything about him. i am jsut checking if you are running

  • me
    i don’t know him well enough, so not completely comfortable to do say whatever is on my mind

    I’m not running

  • friend
  • me
    I gave him a fair chance. Now I’m going to enjoy my holiday, I’m not going to contact him again.

    if he wants to make an effort of any kind its up to him, and if it continues to be a half hearted effort, then I’m going to cut it out

  • friend
    yeah go and enjoy yourself sure you going to dance

    and then we can all go to moz. oh i would love that

  • me
    he drinks alot too. i think some occasions he actually chose to go drink beer than to spend some time with me
  • friend
    yeah i must say with foreign men it is diff. the amount of no expectation i live with ,

    but do get on wit my lfie fully

  • me
    eish, the expecting nothing part is not good

    I’m not doing it again.

  • friend
    yeah – hard like waiting for crumbs , not good at all. so all i can do is live my life fully. he is totally supprotive but i imagine pissed off wiht me never there at all. in july we see what happens as i do know he is really specail

    and i know he loves me deeply , but when not in the same country eeek

  • me
    thats hard
  • friend
    and i don’t believe he plays around but i could be wrong after all i nearly played around myself.

    yeah hard but the love is deep

  • me
    lol, we all human in the end
  • friend
    i feel his comfort

    and he is still staying with his ex so that is also complicated

  • me
    Be careful girl, men and women are on very different wavelengths
  • friend
    but when i come back i want it ALL
  • me
    women feel a lot

    men don’t

  • friend

    i think he loves me more than i do but who knows

  • me
    if only it were possible to base one’s feelings on hard facts

    on what we see and experience

  • friend
    haha you wise woman

    maybe time for me to play – eh?

  • me
    who knows

    I think you should be honest and true to yourself and the really important things going on in your life

    give it all your heart

    and soul

  • friend
    i certainly can now

Why I don’t to biker functions anymore

Because after a while, you start looking like shit.  And you start to date people who look like shit.  And not because you or he have been blessed with bad looks, but because y’all stopped giving a shit about taking care of yourself… because real bikers don’t give a shit about such petty things right … For some reason.  Yik teeth too.   Not even sunscreen or anything anymore, that would eat into your beer money.   And then you proudly announce to your mom on facebook that you can’t wait for her to meet this guy.  Who seems to have no clue about personal pride or appearance.  And I bet his underarms are smelling quite bad at this point.  Not to mention his underpants.

Somos que somos

written for the Daily Prompt:  Que Sera Sera

Don’t quote me on this.  Its not a fact.  But we are what we are.  It doesn’t matter how much you look like a downs syndrome alien, how irritating your lisp is, how clever you are, or how confident.  It doesn’t matter how much money you have, or how many degrees you hold.  It doesn’t matter how many marathon’s you run or if you climbed Mount Everest.  There is a cloud hovering over each of us, shaped by our childhood, that cloud is destiny, and the real substance of what rains down on us is determined almost completely by what happened to us in our most influential years.  Though we may have free will in principle to change the substance of the rain of destiny, its harder than most people are able to do.  Somos que somos.

A woman in control

We all know some.  Women between 35 and 100.  Totally ripped.  Six pack Abs, and not a stitch of fat anywhere.  Firm to the core.  Androgenous.  Or  rake thin, seemingly anorexic.  This is where some women gain control.  A chronology of photos reveal a lovely beaming 20 something year old, soft and feminine.  Then as the time progresses they gain control of their bodies to the extreme.  And all the working/ thinning has a bad effect on the body part that reveals most about what battering they are subjected to, the face.  The face looks like it was photoshopped to the body.  Only its real.  Totally a mismatch.  I wonder how much time these women are spending on their bodies.   And if its worth it to lose out that time which they could spend on working on the rest of themselves.

Pardon me for everything I’m about to say

written for the Daily Prompt: Never surrender

Today is not about me.  I’m trying to give up gossiping so I’ve nobody to talk to about this.  And I don’t really want to because I really like the woman I’m about to tell you about.

There is a certain kind of stubborn.  The kind we don’t even realize we have.  It keeps us in denial.  Constantly finding good excuses for keeping on doing silly things.  We are too stubborn to learn the lesson.

I have a friend.  Recently I’ve gotten to know her well.  And I like her quite a lot.  She is an older woman, nearly 60, white, single, friendly.  She has this one issue though.  She only dates younger black guys.   Now this is not the problem.   The problem is they see her coming like a treasure laden freight train.   They use her financially because she has a good heart.  And she falls for it time and time again.  They move in with her, have no job.  One of the guys perennially lied about his camera getting stolen and each time she bought him a new and better one.  That guy eventually cheated on her with her best friend to whom he is to married now.  Needless to say he is milking her too (She is also an older white woman).

So lately there’s a new guy on the block.  This one again has managed to get an ‘investment’ out of her for a business he wants to start.  Somehow in a strange way she swings it in a story that the investment seems to be of benefit to her as well.  Then in the latest development, she has paid for his travel expenses to his home country to gift him the opportunity to see his dying mother.  Needless to say, it turns out his mother has had a miraculous recovery and won’t be dying anymore.  She says she couldn’t live with herself if he didn’t get to see his dying mother and she says she fully believes the mother recovered because she got to see her son.  Sigh.

Oh the lies we tell ourselves.  The truths we refuse to see.

On being you

Written for  Daily Prompt: Lets go crazy

What is crazy? What is normal?  What does that make you?

We are human.  Part of us is instinct.

We want to eat.  We want to express.  We want to laugh.  We want to cry.  We want to react to what we feel.  We want to feel.  To be normal is to fight this.   They say this is human.

We want to eat.  We want to express.  We want to laugh, We want to cry.  We want to react to what we feel.  We want to feel.  To be crazy is to do as we feel.  To succumb and let it be, is to be you.

The illuminati

These days, I find myself hearing more and more about the illuminati and their conspiracy to take over the world.  Famous people, movie stars and music artists are producing devilish productions and flashing hand signs and and other shmite around openly showing their affiliation with this mega powerful secret organization that controls the world, killing all who attempt to remove themselves from the club and speak up about it.  So, while this may or may  not be a real thing, I must say, there are a lot of hand signs and other symbolism and imagery flying around, sometimes literally.  But … I mean.  It just reminds me of when I was little and between one of two of my girlfriends we’d start a ‘club’, and part of that process was to get other girls to join our club.  We’d choose a tree to be our club house, and during lunch breaks we’d gather under that tree and keep ourselves busy with our self-made activity books which included word searches, coloring in pictures, and corny jokes.  And then after a week, a rivalry would erupt within the club and one of the friends would start another club and take half or more or less of the members over.  And there would be like a cold war between the clubs.  Its cute.


Ok so maybe its not like this really because there is supposed to be money and incredible power over the world involved with people having allegedly died for standing against it.  The oddest thing for me about it in this day and age is that they use devilish symbolism.  From the old belief in the devil.  These uber modern folk.  And what that’s supposed to accomplish I’m not sure.  I guess maybe to win them sponsors and networking partners.  Ok, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I think the part that makes this successful, is that we, who do not necessarily identify with the devilish things, reward all their investments by falling for the glitz and glam and trendy devilishness, and throw our hard earned pennies at them, making the club more and more wealthy and powerful.  So I guess they are just cashing in on our sheepish stupidity.

Food for thought

So far, the happiest people I’ve come across, have not had the most beautiful faces, nor the best bodies (as defined by society/media). They have not had the most money, nor did they get the best education, or been the biggest geniuses. They have not been the most talented artists nor have they owned the biggest/fanciest houses. They have not had the most friends, or even driven the fanciest cars/motorbikes. They have been people who were just peaceful and happy inside, and that feeling is contagious. So that’s what I’ll keep on striving for. That feeling inside.